7 Promising Signs You're Actually Healing from Childhood Trauma
Healing from childhood trauma from growing up with emotionally immature parents (EIP) doesn’t always look the way you might think. Some days, you might not feel like much progress has been made on your healing at all. You might still become triggered, still cry, and still doubt yourself and your worth. Those experiences are normal and definitely don’t mean your efforts aren’t paying off.
The truth is that healing is not a straightforward process. One of the most difficult parts of embarking on this journey is noticing the progress you’ve made. Most often, the signs you’re actually healing are subtle changes and shifts that you’re probably not aware of in this newer, healthier version of yourself.
7 signs you’re healing from the impact of EIP
So, what are some recognizable signs of healing to look for?
These 7 quiet hints of your healing are a good place to start. As you read through each one, think about where you are currently without pressure or worrying that you might not be there yet. If you can learn to embrace the changes already happening and take pride in your growth, you will continue to make progress in your own time.
Take a deep breath and see if these signs sound true for you.
You’re allowing yourself to grieve the life you didn’t have.
Your childhood may not have been filled with safety and predictability, and it's natural to feel grief over the gap between what you experienced and what you wish you had. Are you able to acknowledge and make space for these emotions, rather than pushing them aside?
Instead of telling yourself, “I shouldn’t feel that way” or “I should be over it by now,” you're learning to accept that grief will appear unexpectedly, often at the most inconvenient times. Sometimes, it might appear during major milestones or be triggered by memories: happy, painful, or ones you never had the chance to create.
If you’re allowing yourself to experience this grief instead of seeing it as a reason to reach out to your EIP with the hope things have changed, then that’s growth my friend.
2. You’re building healthy relationships.
Your relationships are built on trust, mutual respect and care, the opposite of the dysfunctional relationship you had with your EIP. As you start to build trust in other relationships, a level of comfort develops enough to allow vulnerability in. Instead of feeling the need to hide who you are, you can be yourself and let your guard down.
You also have a strong support system to rely on when life gets tough. You know you can count on these people to stand by you when you need help. The people in your circle are those you genuinely enjoy spending time with, and their presence lifts you up rather than draining you. Turning to supportive individuals is one of the best ways to cope with life’s challenges and remind yourself that you're not alone.
3. You’re comfortable being misunderstood by your EIP.
As a child of an EIP, your feelings were invalidated. Instead of empathy and support, you were made to feel like you were the one overreacting or painted as the villain. Now that thought doesn’t send you into a blind panic like it used to.
In the past, you would’ve tried to control the narrative and how everyone views you. The old you’s sense of self worth depended on others. With all of your identity work, you know who you are and you don’t abandon your sense of self when your family member attacks your character or tries to pull you back into the cycle with them.
4. You’re finding ways to meet your needs that were neglected.
In your childhood, you lacked unconditional love, acceptance, healthy boundaries, consistency, emotional safety, validation, and trust. Now, you’re focusing on reparenting yourself to heal these unmet needs so they no longer feel like open wounds waiting for someone else to fix. You are taking charge of your own healing by creating routines, supporting your future self rather than sabotaging her, and prioritizing play, rest, and creativity.
5. You’re learning more about yourself.
Another one of the signs you’re healing is that you have a clearer sense of self. You are developing outside of the role you had in your family and exploring different aspects of yourself to see what you like and who you like to be around. You appreciate your own unique identity, separate from the expectations of those around you.
You’ve stopped looking for other people to define you or tell you who you are. You’re also more comfortable with yourself than you’ve ever been. You embrace your strengths, accept your weaknesses, and understand all the complexities that make you who you are. You're letting go of the need for external validation and learning to trust your own instincts and intuition. You are allowing yourself the freedom to evolve and redefine what happiness, success, and love mean to you, rather than relying on the definitions imposed by others.
6. You no longer fall victim to your EIP’s tactics.
When your EIP tries to use guilt trips or shaming, you can recognize it right away. You’ve become familiar with their common tactics and can often predict their next move, allowing you to protect yourself from their attempts to deflect or distort reality.
Even better, you no longer react the way you used to. You’ve learned to change the patterns of communication, which helps protect you from further conflict or manipulation. You now respond in ways that prioritize your emotional well-being and protect yourself from continued conflict or manipulation.
7. Guilt doesn’t have a grip over your life.
One of the key signs you’re healing from your childhood trauma is that guilt no longer controls your actions or emotions. You have a clearer understanding of what is in your control and what isn’t and can distinguish between what’s your responsibility and those that belong to others. You’re able to drop the emotional burdens that aren’t yours to carry.
You can also separate empathy from responsibility knowing that you can show care to others without sacrificing your own needs or feeling guilty for setting boundaries. You’re also starting to extend the same kindness and validation to yourself that you’ve always offered others. Rather than blaming yourself for things that aren’t your fault or taking on the responsibility of others’ emotions, you practice self compassion.
Healing from Childhood Trauma FAQ
Healing from childhood trauma can often feel like a solitary path, filled with uncertainty and challenges. To help you navigate this process, we've compiled some of the most common questions about healing and signs that you're on the right track.
How do I know I’m healing?
In addition to the 7 signs described in this article, you can also tell you’re healing by recognizing what used to make you spiral into anxiety, panic, self-loathing or people-pleasing doesn’t anymore. Your nervous system doesn’t take a hit like it did in the past and you are able to respond in a way that feels aligned with your priorities.
You will also notice that you’re gentler on yourself and your self-talk is kinder. You talk to yourself as you would a good friend with care and compassion. The work you’re doing on yourself has unlocked a new view about yourself, your EIP, your relationships, and the world around you and you feel better able to be who you were meant to be.
Overall, you'll know you're on the right path when you start to experience a healthy balance in your life, where your relationships with your EIP no longer impact every other area of your life.
What does it look like to embrace play and joy while healing from childhood trauma?
Healing isn’t always about deep reflection or processing difficult emotions. It's also about rediscovering the joy, fun, and lightness that might have been missing in your life.
Embracing the playful side of life is part of the healing process. Finding humor in everyday moments, expressing yourself through art, being fully present, experiencing childlike wonder, treating yourself with kindness, and exploring nature — all of these are forms of healing. Healing can be joyful, too.
After all, isn’t freeing yourself from the weight of your trauma the ultimate goal of all your hard work?
Stop seeing yourself as a constant unfinished project and accept yourself for exactly where you are, right now. In your body. Included and in the present.
How can I nurture my inner child during the healing process?
Reflect back on the younger version of yourself.
To get in touch with your inner child, put a photo up of little you and write her letters. Also write letters from her to you. Think about what she needed back then and do one thing to give that to yourself now.
You can also check out my free Inner Child Journal resource for more ways to nurture your inner child.
How do I build trust in myself after healing from childhood trauma?
Acknowledge how far you’ve come in navigating your healing so far. Know that you’re doing the difficult work of working through your trauma and reflect on the progress you’ve made, no matter how small it seems.
To build trust in yourself, start by making small, empowering decisions that align with your values and boundaries. This will reaffirm you’re able to do what’s best for your own well-being. Each small success will lead to more trust in your judgments.
Allow yourself to be vulnerable with others and to feel your emotions deeply. Express yourself without fear of judgment with those around you who feel safe. Learn to replace self-doubt with affirmations and positive self-talk to remind yourself of your worth.
Most importantly, remember to have self-compassion. Criticizing or blaming yourself for past mistakes keeps you stuck from moving forward. Treat yourself with the same understanding you would extend to a friend who’s gone through similar struggles. This helps you build a solid foundation of self-trust based on acceptance rather than perfection.
Remember: Healing is a Process, Not a Destination
Ultimately, healing is not a one-time event or a destination you’ll suddenly arrive at. It’s an ongoing journey, and each step you take, no matter how small, brings you closer to greater peace and self-awareness.
Be patient with yourself, and avoid comparing your progress to anyone else’s. Your journey is uniquely your own. Healing from trauma takes time, and it’s okay to move at your own pace. Embrace the process, celebrate your progress, and trust that every day brings you closer to a healthier, more empowered version of yourself. And every step is worth it.
Are you in Nevada and interested in starting your own healing journey from your childhood trauma? Schedule a free, no pressure call with me, Allison, at the link HERE.
